Please Help Me...I don't know what this means?

I'm 14 years old, and as a young child I suffered with anxiety and as I grew up it turned into depression, I'm on medication and have been doing really great, but as I talked to a lot of people about it I started to realize something quite disturbing about myself: I love crying. I love the intense sadness that comes with it...for me, it's the most incredible and exhilarating feeling...I don't know exactly how to describe it; sometimes I just feel like crying (it's almost like getting high for me or something) so I play certain songs that I have deep connections with until the tears come. I don't know if I'm a psychopath or I just enjoy the familiarity of it, or what. I'm guessing this isn't normal, but what exactly should I do?